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The Women Who Live in My Mind

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Love, attraction, and desire can be strange, unpredictable things. Sometimes, they linger far beyond reason, attaching themselves to people who may never truly be ours. My love life—or rather, my thoughts about love—feels like a collection of unfinished stories, emotions that never fully settled, and desires that exist only in my mind. I find myself caught between past connections, old crushes, and fleeting attractions, none of which have ever truly come to fruition. It’s a situation that makes me feel a little crazy at times, yet I can’t seem to shake these thoughts. There’s the older woman, the one I worked with two years ago. She’s married, has kids, and yet she still crosses my mind every single day. But it’s not just nostalgia or admiration—it’s deeper than that. I think about her in a way I probably shouldn’t, imagining scenarios where she’s with me instead of the life she’s built with someone else. I don’t know if it’s the fact that she’s unattainable that makes me want her more...
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Letting Go of My Religion: My Journey from Catholicism to Truth

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Why I Stopped Following God. I was born into a Catholic family, where faith was not just a belief system but a way of life. From an early age, I was taught to pray, to attend church, to believe in God without question. It was all I knew. Sunday mornings were reserved for mass, religious holidays were celebrated with devotion, and any doubts about faith were quickly dismissed with the reminder that God had a plan. For years, I followed along, never thinking to challenge what I was told. But deep down, something always felt off. I couldn’t put it into words as a child, but there was a lingering feeling that something wasn’t quite right, something that didn’t make sense to me, even when I tried my best to believe. As I grew older, I started asking questions. Why did this religion exist in the first place? Why was I supposed to follow it just because my family did? What made Christianity the "one true faith" when there were so many other religions in the world? I wanted answers, ...
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First Job

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     Basically, what the title says, I actually applied for two jobs and got hired on both. I got hired in Jack in The Box and this pie bakery store. I have no experience in working so both of those jobs are basically my first experience of work. My first day was on Thursday for both, I went to Jack in the box first then the bakery store. I didn't really do anything for JITB, only online training but for my second job, it was hell. I had to do a lot of work cleaning and my back was hurting, I was also very tired because I had only 2 hours of sleep the night before so that day was fucking tiring but you know it was only my first day and again I have no job experience. I also have no car and can't drive so I took the bus and on the bus home, I cried cause of how hard it was, yes complain all you want to me because I am kind of a lazy person. However, my mum was right about how work is hard and it's an endless repeat for money but I'm just doing this for about 5-6 months b...
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A Letter To My 13 Year Old Self

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      Whatever your going through right now, you'll get over it eventually. I would say that it does get better but it will be more better if you just try. You have so much ahead of you, stop worrying about the future and everything because your literally still a damn kid, your still growing. Please stop trying so hard to fit in and flex on all of your cool clothes and shit, you're literally in middle school. The attention seeking is not worth your time. Also you smoking weed doesn't make shit any better too, although you will get caught many times by it haha.  For that girl that you are madly in love with, trust me she is not the one. She may be your first love but she isn't your last. I understand you are heartbroken but it's your overthinking and ego that is making you feel heartbroken so stop blaming and getting mad at her because this is all on you. I know you want that one girl in your life that you want forever and is afraid to move on because you ca...
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I'm Back (Life Update: Nov 2022)

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      Soooo I haven't blogged for about 8 months now because I wasn't feeling like blogging anymore and I got bored but I am back wanting to blog again and document my life events. Hopefully this time I will make a commitment to blogging. However, these past couple of months have just been a bit of a rollercoaster lately but also boring.  First off I graduated high school...whoo yay! and from my last couple of posts, yes I still never walked but I did watch the ceremony for my friend and give lei to some of my classmates. The ceremony was boring tbh. but did you know that I'm a cum laude? How surprising is that? because I literally didn't even put effort into my work and I did cheat a bit during my online classes LOL. During the summer, I literally did not do anything. I was bored at home just watching TikTok and playing with my dogs. Literally, no fun stuffs because I am that boring. I also wasn't trying hard to find a job but it was all because of me being so burn...
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Baby Chick... Again

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So I have a new baby chick, this time it isn't injured. Now, my mum got it because it was being left alone and she didn't want it to get eaten by the cat. Yes, I'm calling it an "it" because it's too young for us to know the gender yet. We're treating this baby chick pretty well and so I think we're doing well.  Here's a picture of it (btw I'm naming it Chic Fil A)         SO ADORABLEEEEE!!!! 
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RIP BABY CHICK

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 So my mum saved a chick that was injured because a cat tried to eat it. Long story short, we fed the chicks some rice and water but it ended up dying 24 hours later. It was just so much in pain. It lived a long life but long enough to see the world.  RIP BABY CHICK.               
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