Loving The Wrong Person.

I fell in love with the idea of someone.

Being lonely and alone most of your life makes you wanna dream about what type of relationship you have or what you want your dream person to be. When you like someone for a while you start to make scenes in your head that you and them together in a relationship or you would think about how they would act and treat you. Then all of a sudden, when you find out that person isn't who they think they are, you get upset, and then you most likely start to overthink and your emotions are all over the place. I have been there. I had a crush on this girl and fell in love with the idea of her for over 2 years. I literally thought she is the love of my life/soulmate but I was wrong or just blind because we were never together. I even wasn't myself when I was around her, because I wanted both of us to have the same interest so we can date and I had this stupid idea that I can wait for her to love me back but I figured it wasn't worth it. Sometimes I wish I never liked her, sometimes I wish that rather gone to therapy instead because oh boy...this was the worst heartbreak for me but I cannot blame her, this is all on me. However, I did learn something though, which is to stop overthinking, stop going too far when it comes to making up scenarios in your head, and just be yourself.  I don't have to worry or overthink anymore because my feelings faded and I just accepted everything. This girl and I are still good friends though.